on friendship...

“'A friend,' wrote the poet and philosopher John O’Donohue...'awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you.' But what happens when a friendship ceases to magnify your spirit and instead demands that you be a smaller version of yourself? While David Whyte is absolutely right in that 'all friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness,' there comes a point past which granting forgiveness yet again for the same hurtful behavior becomes not an act of moral strength but one of moral weakness — an exercise in self-mutilation in the unwillingness to relinquish what has metastasized into a draining or even abusive relationship."  (from Brain Pickings)

I took in a deep breath after reading this, felt a sense of quiet validation ripple through me. OK, granting forgiveness yet again is moral weakness, not moral strength. It is a form of self-mutilation, of becoming small, and so it was self-affirming to end this one, and that one, and those others.